I’ve not been about much on socials lately.
You know when things go wrong, then they continue going wrong until it’s a massive clusterfuck and you don’t even know which way is up?
That’s life for me at the moment. Twenty four fuckin’ seven.
I’m heartbroken. I’m a mess. Not really sure how I’m holding it together but here we are. My family aren’t really family any more; my existence is an annoyance to them. I take up space that they need for their inflated egos.
That sounds really mopey and pathetic, but I’m not exaggerating when I say I walk into a room and either get totally ignored or everyone gets up and leaves. This has been going on for about 7 weeks now; it’s wearing thin. All I’ve done is stand up for myself and my husband, and be honest about my mental health.
1 year after uprooting our lives our home is on the market. No future for us in this building that was supposed to be forever, I suppose they blame me for it. It’s still like the rug has been pulled from under our feet.
So we (my husband and our daughters) are in limbo trying to find somewhere to live. Can’t currently get a foot in the door with renting so we have to stay put and endure this mental torture.
“get yourself on universal credit and find somewhere to live off the council” - could you imagine how heartbreaking that is to hear from your own mother? Jesus, what about the kids? Does she not care about her own grandchildren?
I never thought my own flesh & blood could be so callous and cruel.
Ugh. Typing that out was kind of cathartic. I wonder if I did actually scream into the void maybe I’d feel better?
I’m forever grateful for the wonderful humans I’ve got that keep me & the kids busy and listen to my pissed off rants. 🤍